7 Ways to Flirt
Let’s face it. There are some people who are just terrible at flirting. They do not know what to say or how to say it. They are awkward and they fumble over their words, especially when the person is very attractive. This can be very discouraging for a single who wants to make a great impression by trying to be coy but instead looks like a bumbling boob. This is not exclusive to one gender. Woman and men alike have trouble with using flirting to approach a potential mate to spark a conversation. At the horrifying thought of appearing crazy, many let the moment pass without taking advantage of an opportunity to meet someone new.
What is flirting anyways?
Flirting- To play at the possibility of forming or furthering an intimate relationship either physically, mentally, or emotionally.
Flirting is one tool you can use to break the ice when approaching someone. You can change the energy in the room, ease some of the pressure of an uncomfortable situation, or get noticed by a potential mate. Flirting is not always about sex and can simply be banter between two people. There are a few reasons people flirt that daters should be aware of.
When someone is meeting others for the first time or unfamiliar with their surroundings, they will use flirting to feel okay. They will smile hard or force a laugh to build up their confidence. It is similar to a person getting a few drinks in them so they can relax and feel comfortable engaging with others. The positive feedback reassures them that they are “cool” and people like them, allowing them to mingle without feeling self-conscious.
The sincere flirter wants to make good on their intentions. They have genuine conversation that is not overly sexual in hopes you will take them up on their offer to engage further. Sincere flirters follow through on their advances and will shy away if they are not mirrored or taken seriously.
Playful Ego Stroking
This type of flirter is in it for the flattery. It is all about feeling good in the moment and they are not looking for anything in return. Most common instances of playful flirting are in the checkout line at the grocery store. There are no expectations from the flirter for it to go any further. They may already have a significant other. This interaction is a way for them to increase their self-image.
Expressing Sexual Desire
More commonly, flirting is known for stirring sexual arousal. It is used to excite a person mentality. The positive anticipation of engaging in sexual activity creates a memorable experience before it happens. When both people are focused on how pleasurable the encounter will be, they have already mentally committed to the outcome being enjoyable.
Ways to flirt
Part of flirting successfully is positioning yourself to be seen. Flirting is usually a subtle act and incorporates using your body.
- A touch on the arm, shoulder, or elbow lightly with the tips of your fingers in the middle of a conversation for emphasis is non- threatening. Brush the arm, shoulder or elbow and return your hand to your personal space.
- A smile that grows gradually while you maintain eye contact is considered sexy and is simple to do. You may want to practice in a mirror to avoid looking like the joker.
- Compliments on appearance such as eyes, lips, hair, or smile. Avoid going too deep with descriptions or poems. You want it to feel genuine and believable.
- Make eye contact. You want them to notice you noticing them. When they have, smile and look away. This will pique their curiosity.
- Wink from a distance, smile then look away. Hold for a few seconds and look back to see if they are interested.
- Singling out that person in a group conversation by turning your whole body towards them and away from the rest of the group to project you want to create an intimate exchange.
- Keep the conversation light by talking about the environment, for instance, the party you are at. Relax and let the chat flow naturally. Show your interest by laughing appropriately.
Asking for the date
If flirting has been successful with that person and you want to see them again, turn it into an invitation for a date by asking them out for a specific time and day. You can say, “Would you like to meet at xyz place Friday at 8pm for a drink?” Be sure to get their number so you can follow up and confirm before the date.
Do you have a great pickup line? We would love to hear it. Put it in the comments below.