BECOME A STRONGER COUPLE TOGETHER.
Contrary to what most people believe, real life relationships do not resemble the movies or fairy tales we have come to enjoy. Statistics hold firm that close to half of marriages, within 8 years of the marriage come to an end. What most couples do not know is the reason they can’t seem to stay committed is because relationships naturally go through phases. The most common phases are:
The Honeymoon Phase
This phase can last up to 3 years after the wedding and is based on unrealistic ideals each partner has about one another and what the partnership is. Each partner has romanticised the union and rely on passion and intimacy to see them through issues.
The Adapting Phase
This phase is where the couple realizes their differences in personality, character and vision for the relationship. The couple jumps into the reality that their partner is not perfect. Each person is asking themselves, “Why did I get married?”
The Reinvention Phase
It is in this phase of a relationship that couples deeply feel the separation from their old lives and ways of being. They have a desire to change what has become the mundane and predictable everyday existence that feels like they have lost themselves. They try and remake themselves by looking outside of the relationship to find their way again and help define who they are now. This usually happens between year 5-8. This is where divorce, mentally and/or physically is likely to occur.
What Leads a Couple to Coaching?
More often couples come to coaching when they are in crisis. They have exhausted their own solutions and is calling on the assistance of a professional who will side with them to fix the other person. Couples also come for coaching when they want to enhance the union.
Enjoy the Partnership Again.
Couples naturally will experience times where they drift apart or feel disconnected from one another. These periods in a relationship can last months, sometimes they stretch for years before one or both people decide to address it.
Unresolved issues lead to harboring feelings of bitterness and anger. Over time if those feelings are left unsettled they escalate across the relationship, leaving one or both people doubting their partner’s love and loyalty or care and concern.
When ongoing problems in your relationship don’t seem to be resolving themselves with time but instead, continue to put a strain on the union, it is crucial to speak with a relationship coach to help you sort out the issues. The sooner you take action on sorting out the challenges inside the union the faster you can recover from it to get back to enjoying your spouse and the intimacy of the relationship.
Take Action to Get Better Results.
Not every couple is in crisis. Some couples have a good handle on communication and the day to day operations of the marriage but they want to take their union to the next level of intimacy and harmony.
These couples want to deepen their connection so they can continue to build on the foundation they started. It is important for couples to grow with one another or they will drift apart and become strangers.
Yearly checkups of the relationship help to keep it healthy and growing. Not every Doctor’s visit is because you are in pain. Some checkups are to maintain the healthy aspects and become aware of any problematic areas before they reach a place of being troublesome.
Topics We Discuss Include:
- Communicating through active listening and daily dialogue.
- Identifying stress triggers.
- Balancing priorities.
- Conflict resolution and forgiveness.
- Financial management and financial goals.
- Sex, dating and intimacy.
- Spiritual beliefs and relationship harmony.
- Managing expectations and relationship roles.
- Children and parenting including blended families.
- Achieving goals as a couple.
It is important to note the assessment does not predict compatibility for marriage, it highlights areas of strength and areas for growth. It is in these areas I work with a couple to understand one another’s viewpoint and how to navigate needs and wants in the union. The first step to coaching is to take the couples assessment. This will help identify the areas a couple would like to enhance. As a coach I work with clients who are ready to make healthy choices and conquer specific goals to improve the quality of their relationships and personal lives.